Painful Encounters
by Kina-chan
Summary: Pain is just a natural concept when it comes to their relationship. It started with pain from being inexperienced and ended with pain from redemption. ::Suzaku/Lelouch:: Heavy Reference to and Accounts of Sexual Encounters


**Title: **Painful Encounters

**Author: **Kina-chan

**Pairing: **SuzaLulu

**Warning: **Sex, Light Violence, Slight OOCness

**Chapter Rating: **NC-17

**Word Count: **1,645

**Summary: **Pain is just a natural concept when it comes to their relationship. It started with pain from being inexperienced and ended with pain from redemption. :Suzaku/Lelouch: Heavy Reference to and Accounts of Sexual Encounters

**AU: **Time skips indicated by (--), thought and flashbacks in _italics_.  
I know I should be working on some of my other stuff but this idea (and a few others) have been driving me crazy! If I don't get these out of my hand then I'll never get back to my other stories. So please enjoy and please wait patiently for other updates. They will be up soon!

**Painful Encounters**

The first time they had sex it was painful. Too young to understand the needed preparations, too far gone to do those preparations after figuring out they needed done, and not caring about the consequences of their actions.

_Lelouch hisses and digs his nails into Suzaku's naked shoulder. His eyes water and he grits his teeth to the point they ache. _

"_S-sorry…" Suzaku groans and lays his head onto the other's shoulder, panting all the while. "Sorry Lelouch."_

_The raven-haired boy shakes his head emphatically. "N-no," he croaks, "don't be sorry."_

_The brunette grins for a mere second before grunting and moving his hips, causing a near scream to escape the boy beneath him. He continues to move his hips despite the painful hold on his shoulders where the longer nails of the other boy dig into his skin and cause small sores._

"_Lelouch," Suzaku gasps. _

_In and out. In and out. In… and out. In and… out. The brunette repeats this motion with his hips repeatedly until he finally hears a shaky moan escape the other._

_Lelouch puts his arms around the other's neck and pulls him closer to his body. The pain is still there, getting harder and harder to ignore. But along with the pain there is also an intense pleasure that keeps building up in the pit of his stomach until he's left gasping, eyes watering, as the pleasure explodes and he sees blinding white. _

_Suzaku grunts, eyes closed, and collapses onto the boy beneath him._

_Both are too exhausted to see the blood staining the sheets when their bodies are separated._

--

The second time they had sex it was as equally painful as the first time. That time the preparations were done accordingly, that was not the reason for the pain. The cause of the pain was Suzaku. His mind had been so far away that he hadn't even realized he had been hurting his partner. Lelouch never said a thing.

_Lelouch bites back a yelp when another harsh thrust is delivered. He raises a thin hand to his mouth and bites down into the skin to the point it brings tears to his eyes. He doesn't fail to notice the glazed look to those usually so-alive emerald eyes. Now they're dead looking._

_His mind briefly goes to the sudden death ("murder!" his mind screams) of Suzaku's father and he figures this is the reason for Suzaku's inattentiveness. His mind doesn't stray for long though since another brutal thrust forces its way inside him._

_Lelouch briefly reminds himself that if Suzaku cums the pain from the thrusting will stop and he doubles his efforts in bringing his partner to orgasm. He just wants the pain to __**stop**__._

_In minutes the brunette grunts and Lelouch feels the warm stickiness fill him. He doesn't make a sound when the other collapses atop him, simply wraps his thin arms around the other to hopefully give some semblance of comfort._

_Lelouch is still erect but he knows it'll go away eventual. He can also feel something cool and sticky on his thighs and he knows it's not the pearly essence of ejaculation._

--

The next time they had sex it was after Suzaku joined the Ashford Academy Student Council. Whoever said sex between lovers, if they could be called such, after much time apart was sweet and gentle had not known what they were talking about. The sex they had shared was less painful, more pleasurable, and quick.

"_Lelouch," Suzaku gasps and hangs his head to pant into his partner's ear, causing said teen to shiver._

_Lelouch twists his hands into the bed sheets and grasps them tightly, arching his back to gain more contact between them and throws his head back to expose his pale throat. _

_Suzaku hungrily devours the skin presented to him and he can feel the vibration of the raven-haired teen's moans against his lips._

"_Suzaku."_

_As if answering a silent request, the brunette's speed quickens and his hips are quickly slapping against the other's backside, causing both to moan with pleasure. Lelouch fights back the slight pain and grasps his erect cock, pumps it clumsily in time with the heated thrusts. _

_Neither last much longer._

_Lelouch practically screams out his lover's name, his back arching painfully and semen spewing out in ribbons, and Suzaku whispers the other's name, body going stiff as a board as his essence coats the heat encasing him._

_They both collapse and pant against each other, fighting to catch their breath as they ride out the blinding post-orgasm together. There's no blood to speak of._

--

The two had sex many times after that, although instead of "sex" they grew to calling it "making love". They met many times out of the eyes of their fellow peers to indulge each other in the forbidden act they alone shared.

Some times it was painful, some times blood stained the sheets they made love on, while other times it was sweet and gentle, and other times it was loving with whispers of love and undying devotion.

--

These things never last, however.

The last time they have sex it is brutal and the most painful.

The pain of losing Euphemia blinds Suzaku with rage and something else he can't seem to comprehend. He blames himself for letting her death happen ("I should have been able to protect her!" he reprimands himself), he blames Zero for killing her. He will avenge her.

The pain of losing Euphemia li Britannia, his sister by blood, chokes Lelouch with guilt, loss, and other emotions he hasn't felt since the murder of his mother. With her death came the death of countless, **innocent** Elevens ("Japanese." he reminds himself) and it makes him think of all the other countless innocents who have lost their lives because of his blind search for vengeance. It's his fault she is dead and the realization makes him die a little inside. And what's worst, Suzaku wants to avenge her. He wants to kill Zero. Suzaku wants to, by default, kill Lelouch. **This** realization makes him want die just to be rid of the pain is causes.

--

Lelouch's thoughts while Suzaku is pounding him into his mattress ("their" his mind corrects) circle around how much he deserves to be hurt. He grips onto Suzaku's shoulder and brings his mouth up to the brunette's ear. "Hurt me," he whispers.

Suzaku complies without a thought. He grabs a hold of the other's thin wrists ("too thin" his mind realizes) and jerks them above the raven-haired teen's head. He holds the wrists with one hand while grasping the strong jaw of the other with his free hand. Lips and teeth and tongue clash, lips split apart and red beads of life filter out from too sharp teeth, and tongues tangle in a mess of misdirected passion.

Lelouch doesn't cry out when his lips are ripped in many places, nor does he cry out when his tongue is bit down on hard enough so that he tastes the metallic seasoning of blood. The grip on his wrists is sure to leave bruises and he feels the blunt nails dig painfully into his skin.

"More," comes to breathless request.

Suzaku grunts and pulls out roughly, ignoring the pained gasp from his partner, before grabbing onto pale hips to flip the other on his stomach. He quickly forces Lelouch onto his knees and thrusts back in roughly, feeling the least bit of resistance rip apart to grant him easier access and a kind of makeshift lubricant.

Tears fall down flushed cheeks and Lelouch hangs his head, his arms the only thing supporting his weight as Suzaku repeatedly slams into him. _Hurt me_, he thinks. _Give me more pain than I can take… make me feel something besides this unbearable guilt. Let me have my redemption through this pain. Make me forget. Hurt me. _

Hands grip the slim waist of the raven-haired teen tightly, already leaving bruises in their wake. Suzaku leans his body over the stretched-out back and his face buries itself in between shoulder blades. The air is stifling and comes down like bricks around him. One hand moves from its position on hips to move around and grasp the painfully erect manhood between the other's legs. The familiar build-up of pleasure in his belly warn him of his impending orgasm.

Suzaku just barely makes out a harsh groan of, "**Hurt** me!" He moves his mouth up to Lelouch's shoulder and bites down into it as hard as he can. Within seconds the sickening taste of the Britannian's blood fills his mouth while at the same time the deafening scream of his name fills his ears. He shortly follows his partner's orgasm with his own harsh gasp of, "Lelouch."

The ungodly amount of blood coats both of their thighs and stains the sheets with its menacing resemblance to the blood of lost, innocent souls. Lelouch loses consciousness from all the pain.

There is no redemption.

--

The next time the two face each other they don't think about those nights sharing pleasure, and pain, and instead simply shoot.

* * *

This was my first SuzaLulu and my first Code Geass fanfic. Please let me know how I did!


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